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Wed, Sep. 20th, 2006, 10:41 pm

Precisely three years ago I began this livejournal by posting a copy of an email I sent at work. It was a pirate-themed email about a script which automated work in ways I no longer recall (but which AT&T probably still exploits).

Days later this journal would pick up a narrative element that would dominate most its existence.

I'm convinced everything is narrative. The only trick is editing. I like this particular yarn, but it should have been cut a long time ago.

It's not so much that the previous story ended (although it has, by any remotely artful definition of anticlimax). Mostly it's that I'd like to start a new narrative, and this is a very logical place. There's symmetry to it as well: In three more years I'll have graduated law school.

Besides, the many of people on my friends list no longer post on livejournal and/or are too polite to be asked off. This gives all parties an easy out. If you'd like to read updates about my life, please friend slc_frank and I'll friend you back. It'll be a strictly friends-only journal without even the courtesy of a "friends only" post, so this is your last chance.

You may also comment here to complain and/or give me a (fond?) lj farewell.

At any rate, thanks for your time.

Mon, Sep. 11th, 2006, 01:18 pm

My Interests Collage!Collapse )
Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

Heh. I made that image of cinnamaldehyde. Damn wikipedia.

Sun, Sep. 10th, 2006, 05:37 pm

Went with Brother, Jon Moore, and the other Jon, now dubbed "Dub" to an open mic poetry thing last night. Brother wanted me to read something. I'm not good with words, but I tried to write something about the one night I went walking along the highway thinking about Eddie Adam's photograph of Col. Loan executing a VC suspect on the streets of Saigon.
I am not one to blithely say,
"Fuck Salt Lake City."
"I am!" the host said. "We are!" "Yeah I know you are! My poem!"
I met her on the highway—
I-215 between California Avenue and Elysium.
Barefoot walking, I asked her why I should be lonely
On a night in a place precipitated from Brigham's blood,
3.2 beer, and late summer dew.
Someone said something like, "nice mix!" "Yeah, well..."
She spoke some opaque blank verse
punctuated by the whoosh of interstate freight.
I understood the gist.

Overwhelmed trees in Rose Park shroud mountains and refineries,
they sprout as my veins, become bare in my winters.

I stood there and watched her, my home and lover,
her eyes pinched closed like condemned Viet Cong,
awaiting my bullet.
"I leave for Chicago."

Afterwords a stoner said that my poem "expanded [his] mind." He liked it better than any poem except for a rap performed by a couple of attractive young women. Then he asked me for a ride.

Thu, Aug. 31st, 2006, 06:32 pm

I will no longer post political or Mormon-related stuff here.

Beginning this these pictures and comments about the protest of President Bush, I'll put all that junk into a blog that no one will ever read. In this way I'll be discouraged from ever writing such crap and I'll settle for muttering over my newspaper, like arguably normal people do.

Oh, and guess who I saw at the protest?

It's the guy who talked the ears off of me, Jon, Ami, Rock, and Dane a couple weeks back! He's again wearing a Utah Jazz shirt (that he supposedly hates). I tried to say hello, but he seemed to be in an involved conversation with that cop.

Oh, and if anyone cares, I took wedding photos for the fifth time in my life last week.
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Tue, Aug. 29th, 2006, 01:12 pm
Warren Jeffs.

Apparently they caught polygamist leader Warren Jeffs.

So far, nothing Waco has happened. As FLDS contacts have long claimed, they do not allow guns in their community; Jeffs was found with the cash and supplies of a drug dealer, but not a single firearm. I stand by my freakish commitment to fringe religious freedom. The enormous manhunt for Jeffs (on charges that his community found trivial—arranging underaged marriages and breaking antitrust laws) only could have inflamed their millenialism. I'm happy that the polygamists have so far not acrificed themselves in a firestorm of federal bullets. It appears the feds have learned something since Waco, TX.

Now that he's caught, the FLDS might perhaps stop idolizing him like John Taylor—the last LDS Mormon committed to polygamy, who spent his last days hiding from federal marshals.

Thu, Aug. 24th, 2006, 11:27 am
anti-Bush protests next week. I'll be there.

So Bush visits Salt Lake City next Wednesday. It's kinda nice that the sitting US President will visit Utah more times than the former President of Mexico—but on the other hand, it's Bush. It's the first time he's staying the night (something he didn't even do for the Olympics). Rice and Rumsfeld are also coming for the chance to speak to ordinary US citizens. That is, the American Legion.

Mayor Rocky Anderson will protest, just like last year. And national news—generally ignorant of Salt Lake's relative liberalism—will probably cover it like a man-bites-dog story again.

And of course we'll have protests and counter-protests and Cindy Sheehan. And, according to today's Trib, there will be an honest-to-God "Death to Israel" rally.

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Sun, Aug. 20th, 2006, 10:22 pm
That will be the day.

I hate it when I miss the small tidbits from the newspapers. Apparently Netflix screened The Searchers (one of my favourite movies) in Monument Valley (about six hours away) on Friday. John Wayne's daughter was there, and it was emceed by Lisa Loeb for some reason. About 100 people showed up. I should have been one of them. Dammit.

But I suppose talking with an 18 year-old high on E outside of a Village Inn diner until 6 AM was kinda fun. Or. Something. For the fun had yesterday, thanks go to Jon, Dane, Eric, my brother Phillip, Ami, some guy in a wheelchair, coffee shops, a dingy internet cafe, slam poets, Germany, and greek food.

Sat, Aug. 12th, 2006, 12:17 am

One of my tires blew out on Highway 201 on my way home from work today. Luckily it was a rear tire. Otherwise I would have hit a concrete barrier and needed to assure everyone that it wasn't an attempt on my own life.

There's lightening outside. Less than a mile away. Salt Lake Valley seldom gets thunderstorms, even on these late summer nights.

Thu, Aug. 10th, 2006, 02:12 pm
31 days to go.

I've informed my employer of my last day. September 11 is penciled in as my last day in Salt Lake City. Five year anniversary. Strange. A moment of silence before I leave. My family prays before long trips, perhaps I should.

Anyhow, I plan to travel non-stop to Kansas that day, which is something like 16 hours. A day with my grandmother, then across the plains to Chicago. No hotels.

I'm going to miss this place and a lot of the people here. I would like to do some things before I go though, such as visit all the restaurants I never had the chance to with friends I see too infrequently. Need to do something with sidewalk chalk. Must commune with Brigham Young's grave and the sunset one more time. Visit Granite High. Need to strongly consider returning the books I still have out from the University Library.

Anyhow, you have one month.

If you should ever miss me, order a Dr Pepper in my absence at Dee's Family Restaurant.

I'll be back for Christmas break, but I don't know after that.

Thu, Aug. 3rd, 2006, 02:32 pm
Adapted from a comment I made when this subject was actually timely.

Liberals make light of the wholesale destruction of our civilization, but flag desecration is the defining topic of our time. I'll prove it.

Terrorists burn US flags while, I, a patriot, do not. Obviously we could win the war on terrorism by imprisoning fiendish flag burners. Need more? Here are some things you may not have considered about flag desecration:
  • US flag importation stemming from repeated desecration contributes $119 billion to the trade deficit with China.
  • The US automakers are building gas guzzlers and going bankrupt because they're inspired by the example of burning flags.
  • Illegal migrant workers are drawn to this country by the smoke of pandemic flag burning.
  • Gays only want to get married because of psychotropic fumes, which are generated from smoldering stars and stripes.
  • Iran is sabre rattling with nuclear development and launching a proxy war with Israel because they're so upset about the disrespect we condone toward our own flag. Indeed, the terrorists want to attack us because "only infidels would burn their own flag."
  • Our annul federal deficit is 3.12 times larger than it could be because of all the burned flags the treasury has to replace each year.
  • Criminal labs rely on the chemical byproducts of desecrated flags to synthesize methamphetamine.
  • We're losing two soldiers and $300 million a day in Iraq because the firestorm of burning flags falls on our armies.
  • States are rebelling No Child Left Behind in outrage over federally-condoned flag burning.
  • The baby boom will retire and strain our social programs, but only because they can't take another workday filled with wall-to-wall flag desecration.
  • And don't forget, the president is declaring heretofore unknown executive powers in response to all the flag burning.
There is absolutely nothing more important that the US Senate could be doing than tackle the burning issue of flag desecration (I would say "pun intended" but the red diaper babies make enough jokes about serious issue). Thank God heroes like Orrin Hatch have the courage to stand up in vocal opposition to flag buring.

Every six years.

When he runs for re-election.

Senator Hatch, I salute you as if you were a flag. Better luck in 2012, so help us God.

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